Warrior Mode Activated - Heroine Style

There's more than one way to go into battle.

You don’t always have to FIGHT the dragon. Image from The New York Public Library. "Dragon resting its head on the lap of a woman" The New York Public Library Digital Collections. 1912.

Welcome to your Saturday Side Quest. 

Side Quest (noun), as defined by the Urban Dictionary: An impromptu adventure or diversion undertaken by an individual, typically outside the realm of one’s primary goals or responsibilities, often characterized by spontaneous actions and unconventional activities. 

Hey. How are you doing?

A lot has happened in the last five days.
You might be feeling angry. You might be feeling scared. 
You’re almost certainly feeling disappointed and definitely exhausted. 
Each of us is working through layers of grief, panic, rage, and numbness.

And all of that is okay. Not in that I want you to have to feel any of that, but in that it’s perfectly reasonable that you might be wrestling with one or more of these emotions at the moment.

No matter who you are, life is always going to be full of challenges and battles. There will be losses you have to suffer and trials you have to overcome. There will be people who want to hurt you, and people you want to protect. 

In an email to some friends earlier this week, I wrote, “I feel like an old warrior who has been called back to active duty, and is heaving her armor back on.”

I didn’t add, “And she’s not super happy about it.”

Either way, this image of a tired-but-determined champion girding her loins to jump back into the fray got me thinking about what it means to be a warrior — to go into battle in defense of the people you love and the world you want them to live in. 

Back in September, I wrote about how hard it is to make friends. In that piece, I talked about the concept of the Heroine’s Journey. At the time, I was focused mostly on the way a heroine’s journey — which is defined in large part by the protagonist’s ability to build a strong network — is so different from the much more ubiquitous Hero’s Journey, which is all about the solo heroics of a single individual who was supposedly chosen/destined to undertake some quest and defeat (single-handedly, of course) a Big Bad. 

My point was that exposure to an overabundance of stories that follow the Hero’s Journey has led us to believe that the only way to be a hero is as a lone wolf. When, in fact, that almost never works in real life. 

I’ll be honest — I don’t want to have to be thinking about activating my warrior mode. I was pretty happy sitting over here exploring my inner wilderness and feeling my way through creating this newsletter. But here we are. 

The book I mentioned in that September post was Gail Carriger’s The Heroine’s Journey ~ For Writers, Readers, and Fans of Pop Culture. I’m re-reading it right now because I want to know more about the Heroine’s Journey. I want it to be written on my bones more deeply than the Hero’s Journey — a story structure that I’ve been consuming my whole life.

I know you might need more time to process, to grieve, and to recover. I get it, and I fully support you taking care of yourself however you need to. 

But I’d like to plant a small seed of an idea in your mind … and your heart. 

I’d like to invite you to get to know the Heroine’s Journey. I think we are going to need it in the days ahead.

I cannot recommend Carriger’s book enough, but I know that it won’t be everyone’s jam. (I acknowledge my word nerdiness, and accept that it’s not the norm.) So here, excerpted from a short video interview Carriger did, is how she describes the Heroine’s Journey (edited slightly for the written format): 

“A heroine's journey starts, generally speaking, with something being taken from her, usually a family network or emotional tie or a bond of some kind. The example I often use is Persephone being taken from Demeter. Demeter starts on a Heroine’s Journey because she is questing for her daughter. That's what the heroine is usually doing — questing for some kind of reunion or unity or cohesion of some kind. She's looking to put something back together again that was broken, or she's looking to find something that was taken. Her journey is similar to the hero’s in that she has a descent, she crosses a threshold, she usually disguises herself, and then she has all of these patterns of withdrawal and return — much like the hero does — but her goal and strength is almost always in accessing information and communicating with people. 

A heroine is always seeking to talk to people, to get in contact with people, to put a group together, to put a group quest together. I like to say that heroines make very good generals. They're usually really good at identifying the strengths and weaknesses in others and activating them. Heroines are very good at asking for help. That's not a weakness, it's strength, because of this personality quality where they're really good at knowing what's needed to accomplish things together. The end of the Heroine’s Journey is almost always a compromise of some kind that is for the greater good.”

Here are a few other markers of the Heroine’s Journey based on points Carriger makes in chapter 6 of her book: 

• The heroine usually undertakes her journey not because she wants to, but because she has to. While a typical hero is always ready to leap into action, the heroine’s journey away from safety is rarely voluntary. Instead, something happens that forces her to take action; and usually that something happens to someone other than the heroine. She steps up on behalf of someone else, not herself.

• The Heroine’s Journey values attributes that are generally considered feminine. In the Hero’s Journey, feminine archetypes are almost always a hinderance to the hero. For a hero, the feminine represents temptation and stasis — things that obstruct the achievement of the goal. In the Heroine’s Journey, on the other hand, the feminine characteristics of networking, community building, information sharing, and mutual support are very positive elements that give the heroine her strength. As Carriger puts it, “espionage and gossip for the win.”

• Heroines are not interested in glory. They are interested in safety for all. For a heroine, success typically comes in the form of compromise that benefits everyone, not just the heroine. This is in stark contrast to the way a hero views success, which usually looks like complete and utter (and - don’t forget! - single-handed) destruction of the enemy.

These are only a few of the distinguishing features of the Heroine’s Journey. I could go on all day about this, but I know you have things to do, so I’ll stop here. 

The main thing I hope you remember is that there is more than one way to face the challenges in your life. Whatever they are. 

In too many of our popular stories and our politics, we have been told again and again that the only way to be a hero is to be a “chosen” strongman who never compromises, takes no prisoners, and is willing to do anything to win. Too long have we lived under the undue influence of the Superman/Wonder Woman/lone cowboy/vigilante narrative. The myth of the rugged individual has long outlived its purpose, and it’s done a lot of damage along the way. 

Be outraged. Be fierce. But remember there is another way to bring about change and a happy ending that includes safety, community, and unity. The Heroine’s Journey gives us another lens through which to view conflict resolution, and a whole new set of tools and strategies to help build the world we want for our loved ones. 

In this week’s Monday Moxie post, I shared the gorgeous orchestral piece “Divenire” by Italian pianist and composer Ludovico Einaudi. One of the things I love about this piece is the way the movements shift so naturally from sombre to soaring. It acknowledges the poignant emotions, but still manages to — in the end — fill my heart with hope. 

Like you and many people you love, I struggled with some heavy emotions this week. I’m still struggling, but no longer feel like I’m at risk of falling into a pit of despair. What has pulled me back from that precipice is my community, including you. As I have said before, we are stronger together. Always. No matter the challenge that lies before us. That’s the heroine’s way. 

I’ll see you on the battlefield. 

Your Saturday Side Quest, should you choose to accept it, is to find stories that you think embody the Heroine’s Journey, and — if you’re feeling generous — share them here. (I’m thinking we could all use a little pick-me-up right now.)

Here is my list (from my earlier post) so far: 

• The House in the Cerulean Sea by T.J. Klune

• Himself by Jess Kid

• The Hearing Trumpet by Leonora Carrington

• Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

• Saint Death’s Daughter by C.S.E. Cooney

• Legends & Lattes by Travis Baldtree

• Our Flag Means Death (Max)

• Ted Lasso (AppleTV)

What stories have you come across that seem like they might fit the Heroine’s Journey? Don’t be shy! This so new to so many of us. We need to help each other find these gems so we can build up our repertoire of heroine’s stories to inspire and comfort us.