I think it is a rare individual who can extract themselves from following a life of shoulds and shoudn'ts. It is a constant and insidious pressure. I find it strange that in my 50s, I still occaisionally have awful dreams about not finishing my highschool or uni degree, such was the pressure of those early days. We are so cluttered with the expectations of others/parents/society it leaves little room for the feeling world to come through and point the way, to follow what the body or instinct knows. But luckily for us this inner wilderness (to borrow from your blog title) will not leave us alone and keeps dropping clues or a bread crumbs to follow. I also like your challenge/quest, and I will ponder on this!
I am also in my 50s, and I can relate to those irrational dreams about being unprepared for school exams, even though I am decades out of my schooling years. It can take a lifetime to get out from under that pressure.
I love the visual of following breadcrumbs. Pam Grossman (book author and host of The WitchWave podcast) often refers to what she calls "cosmic breadcrumbs," which I love. It's so fun to imagine the Universe is dropping us little clues to follow. ;)
Good luck on your quest. Love to hear anything you'd like to share!
I relate to your story, Jamie. I wanted to be a writer, but also got a liberal arts degree and then went for a career-oriented masters degree. Of course I had some outside discouragement, like I had an advisor tell me not to get an MFA because I needed a real job. But the nice thing about being a writer is you don’t really need a degree to do it. I always know I’ll regret not writing a book, so I joined a writer’s center and started writing again. And I’ve learned more from that than my college.
Welcome, fellow meant-to-be-a-writer-but-something-happened-on-the-way-to-my-novel person! It's a bit terrifying how far off track we can get without even trying. You are in good company here, and I'm inspired by you joining the writers' center. I haven't taken a writing class in a long (long!) while, but I've been eyeing out the online offerings from Grub Street (which is near me, in Boston). Who knows? ;)
Yep. Writing a book (or several books!) is a big one.
Sorry to hear about your back, but glad you had cake! Cake makes things better.
And I totally agree - writing is writing. Even on days when I feel like I've got nothing to say, I never regret sitting down at the keyboard or with pen and notebook. And it's funny - sometimes it's those random ramblings that end up becoming the seed of something else later on down the road. You never know.
I'm struggling to come up with something I'd regret not doing. I've spent years coming to the realization that all I need is peace in each moment, so I've been focusing on cultivating that.
But some part of me still really wants to help people. I started my blogs for that reason, to pass on wisdom that has helped me.
I do want to feel like I've made a *significant* impact, though.
I guess I just want to be in a place where every day I know that the work I do not only supports myself, but also supports the healing of humanity and our relationship with Earth and Spirit.
It doesn't always feel that way, so I guess I'm not entirely at peace haha 😅
So I suppose this would be my regret: to spend any more of my life working just to survive instead of working for the liberation and wellness of all beings.
I see your conundrum. And I feel your pain around having to spend too much time "just to survive" when you have much bigger goals and a sense of purpose.
I would like to say, however, - and hopefully this isn't overstepping - that it feels like maybe you want something that you're not quite ready to own yet. Kudos for admitting you'd like to make a significant impact. That's a big deal right there. I wonder if there's more you want from life that you're afraid to hope for.
I think it is a rare individual who can extract themselves from following a life of shoulds and shoudn'ts. It is a constant and insidious pressure. I find it strange that in my 50s, I still occaisionally have awful dreams about not finishing my highschool or uni degree, such was the pressure of those early days. We are so cluttered with the expectations of others/parents/society it leaves little room for the feeling world to come through and point the way, to follow what the body or instinct knows. But luckily for us this inner wilderness (to borrow from your blog title) will not leave us alone and keeps dropping clues or a bread crumbs to follow. I also like your challenge/quest, and I will ponder on this!
I am also in my 50s, and I can relate to those irrational dreams about being unprepared for school exams, even though I am decades out of my schooling years. It can take a lifetime to get out from under that pressure.
I love the visual of following breadcrumbs. Pam Grossman (book author and host of The WitchWave podcast) often refers to what she calls "cosmic breadcrumbs," which I love. It's so fun to imagine the Universe is dropping us little clues to follow. ;)
Good luck on your quest. Love to hear anything you'd like to share!
I relate to your story, Jamie. I wanted to be a writer, but also got a liberal arts degree and then went for a career-oriented masters degree. Of course I had some outside discouragement, like I had an advisor tell me not to get an MFA because I needed a real job. But the nice thing about being a writer is you don’t really need a degree to do it. I always know I’ll regret not writing a book, so I joined a writer’s center and started writing again. And I’ve learned more from that than my college.
Welcome, fellow meant-to-be-a-writer-but-something-happened-on-the-way-to-my-novel person! It's a bit terrifying how far off track we can get without even trying. You are in good company here, and I'm inspired by you joining the writers' center. I haven't taken a writing class in a long (long!) while, but I've been eyeing out the online offerings from Grub Street (which is near me, in Boston). Who knows? ;)
If I don’t write another book I’ll be bummed.
Even though I’m dealing with a back fracture right now, I wrote about the cake I baked last night and finished today.
Though my book has nothing to do with baking, writing is writing.
Yep. Writing a book (or several books!) is a big one.
Sorry to hear about your back, but glad you had cake! Cake makes things better.
And I totally agree - writing is writing. Even on days when I feel like I've got nothing to say, I never regret sitting down at the keyboard or with pen and notebook. And it's funny - sometimes it's those random ramblings that end up becoming the seed of something else later on down the road. You never know.
Feel better!
I'm struggling to come up with something I'd regret not doing. I've spent years coming to the realization that all I need is peace in each moment, so I've been focusing on cultivating that.
But some part of me still really wants to help people. I started my blogs for that reason, to pass on wisdom that has helped me.
I do want to feel like I've made a *significant* impact, though.
I guess I just want to be in a place where every day I know that the work I do not only supports myself, but also supports the healing of humanity and our relationship with Earth and Spirit.
It doesn't always feel that way, so I guess I'm not entirely at peace haha 😅
So I suppose this would be my regret: to spend any more of my life working just to survive instead of working for the liberation and wellness of all beings.
I see your conundrum. And I feel your pain around having to spend too much time "just to survive" when you have much bigger goals and a sense of purpose.
I would like to say, however, - and hopefully this isn't overstepping - that it feels like maybe you want something that you're not quite ready to own yet. Kudos for admitting you'd like to make a significant impact. That's a big deal right there. I wonder if there's more you want from life that you're afraid to hope for.
Or maybe not. ;)