What lit you up when you were a kid?
And why play may be the unexpected elixir of life
Welcome to your Saturday Side Quest.
Side Quest (noun), as defined by the Urban Dictionary: An impromptu adventure or diversion undertaken by an individual, typically outside the realm of one’s primary goals or responsibilities, often characterized by spontaneous actions and unconventional activities.
Do you remember what it feels like to play?
I’m not talking about “recreation” or “leisure.” I’m talking about actual play.
In case you’re not sure what I mean (I’m imagining you looking at me with a quizzical expression, asking, “What is this ‘play’ you speak of?”), here are a couple definitions from people who know more than me:
From Psychology Today:
Play—or fun, imaginative, relaxed, and self-directed activities—is a key part of life for children and adults alike. Play tends to be self-chosen, removed in some way from “real” life, and governed by a set of rules determined by the players, rather than an outside source. Play has myriad payoffs and is more common in children than adults; however, adults can and do play, often to their own benefit.
From the National Institute for Play:
(Side Note: I’m not sure if I’m delighted or horrified that we have a National Institute for Play.)
Play is state of mind that one has when absorbed in an activity that provides enjoyment and a suspension of sense of time. And play is self-motivated so you want to do it again and again.
Ringing any bells?
According to experts, play is less a specific activity and more a state of being. In other words, it’s not what we do, but how we do it. True play brings us to a place where we are lost in the moment, existing in a time out of time during which the outside world falls away.
When I was a kid, my play was all about creating worlds.
Sometimes, this was a solitary adventure that involved pen, paper, markers, and colored pencils. I drew pictures, wrote really bad poetry, and started — at the age of seven — my lifelong journaling practice, which was (and still is) a way of turning the “real” world into a story.
Sometimes, my play was a collaborative affair. My favorite accomplice in these endeavors was my friend Nikki. Our most intricate and involved world was built around our matching equestrian dolls and their posable mounts. My doll was named Anna, and hers was Becky. We built houses, barns, and cross-country jump courses. I made my own saddles and bridles from scraps of leather and suede that my mom brought home from the fabric store where she worked part time.
Nikki’s Becky had an entire vacation camp that Nikki created on the small Maine island where her family spent long stretches of the summer. I still have the tiny letters that Becky posted to Anna, complete with carefully drawn stamps. I also still have a handful of darkly lit Polaroid photos chronicling the adventures of our two fearless riders and their faithful equine companions. My favorite is one with a Sharpie-marker caption that reads, “Smoke + Wildfire jumping in a field (Setup by Nikki + Me)” It almost looks real.
While Nikki and I were horse girls through and through, that wasn’t the only make believe world we inhabited. We also built entire towns for our favorite matchbox cars. These idyllic villages featured “houses” made of painted bits of two-by-four nestled amidst the mossy roots of the big trees in Nikki’s backyard. Our road systems were impressive.
We also built space ships, time machines, and other SciFi paraphernalia using leftover supplies (markers and foam core) from my dad’s art projects, forgotten hardware from Nikki’s basement, and salvaged bits of metal and electronics that we collected in Nikki’s little red wagon on Big Trash Day when people would leave busted televisions (the old-fashioned boxy kind), rotary phones, and alarm clocks on the side of the road.
We never had any agenda or goal in mind. It was more a case of avoiding boredom by following our curiosity. We could — and often did — lose days at a time to these activities, sometimes begging our parents to allow multiple-day sleepovers so we could continue to “work on our projects.”
In my adult life, I have experienced a similar sense of complete immersion in a project on a few occasions. One such occasion, which I will write about soon, was the creation and building of last year’s Halloween costume, a bit of play that is — in a roundabout way — part of what ultimately inspired me to launch this newsletter.
I will close this somewhat rambling missive by sharing one of the quotes that I chose to accompany my senior portrait in my high school yearbook:
“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”
~ George Bernard Shaw
If play turns out to be the elixir of life, we’re all going to feel pretty silly for wasting so much time being grown ups.
Your Saturday Side Quest, should you choose to accept it, is to think about (and share … please share!) the kind of play that enthralled you when you were a kid. What games, projects, and make believe worlds could swallow up entire days in the blink of an eye?
Extra Credit: Was your favorite play more a solitary affair, or something you did with friends?
Extra-extra Credit: For those of you on the app (And, seriously, if you don’t have the app, you should get it … we’re having fun over here!), post a Note with photo evidence of your favorite childhood play, and tag me.
As always, thanks for playing!
And because you stayed ‘til the end, here are a couple more images of Anna and Becky with Smoke and Wildfire:
Oh, and my barbies had their own dramas lol
That’s fantastic - you two were so creative! As a child, I loved playing with dolls, and cars, and animal figurines. I loved Barbies especially. I had a sister 4 years younger so she was my playmate most of my childhood. When I think of playing for some reason I immediately find myself at my Nanas house. She had a bin of toys we’d have all over the floor, building pens for the animals with dominos and houses with Lincoln logs. When I think of Barbies I think of being too old for them but still playing with them with my sister because I “had” to (but really I just loved to). I don't think I’ve ever stopped playing and I think in part it’s because of the birth of my brother when I turned 20. Then my nephew at 30. When my friends had children or grandchildren I was the one playing in the floor with the kids while the adults talked. I don’t have children or grandchildren of my own, but now I play with my great niece. Thanks for the memories!